Excerpts from 2019- Edsensiq

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I look at myself in the mirror these days and I can barely recognize the woman staring back at me. I have grown, evolved and changed in so many startling ways. Sometimes, it is difficult to comprehend that this different person is the woman that I have become.

Yes, I changed this year. I opened my eyes wider so I can see things clearer. So that I am emancipated from the shackles of basic denials; denials that have held me bound to so many stifling ideologies. I opened my ears and cleared out the thick wax in them that has shut me out from listening and hearing about diverse ways of existing and truly living.

I took deliberate steps towards my own happiness- no more wishing or waiting for a saviour. I started the long interesting journey of saving myself. I read more, I tasted more, I drank more, I felt more. Yes, I felt both pain and happiness, but I opened myself to the philosophy that teaches us that these things are what makes life. They are what enriches life.

We are all here for a limited period of time. Some shorter or longer than others. This year I asked myself: do I want to live my life waiting for that big break, that big thing to happen that will open up this imaginary door and then my life can begin? Am I going to keep waiting? What if I go tomorrow? what would it have all been for?

So I made the decision to be daring. I will chase happiness. I will hug my loved ones tighter, kiss deeper, laugh louder and even cry harder. Let it be said that I lived a full life.

I am so grateful for the people that I called friends this year. Chogwu, Okpas, Iye. We didn’t see much this year, but it is so comforting knowing that no matter what happens to me in life, I have three steadfast rocks I can run too. Life can only get better for you guys.

My Mummy was also steadfast in my life. I truly want to give you only the best. I will so spoil you. Don’t worry. Thank you for always praying for me. I love you always.

Idoko, this year might not have been the easiest for us, but I’m glad we went through it cos we came out stronger. Looking forward to another decade with you babe. I love you always-Always.

Finally, to my angel girls. I cannot even imagine life without you both. You light up my life in ways you do not know yet and ways you might never know. I can’t wait to see the women you will both grow up into. I love you and will love you for the rest of my life, unconditionally.

So 2020 is going to be great because I will make it great. I am excited about all the beautiful people who will be a part of my life this new-year and all the wonderful memories we will make together.

Peace and Love to all- Eddy

Researcher,writer, and the ultimate idealist. One day I moved to Paris and many things have happened to me since then. My random musings: thebidaling.home.blog

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